On Dating

This is important ladies and gentlemen, so listen up.  When you have children, particularly young children, you need to have alone time with your spouse.  I do not mean the three minutes that you talk about your children while you lie in bed at night.  That time before your bodies collapse into unconsciousness from exhaustion doesn't count.  You need to go on a date! This is time for you and your partner to reconnect, to enjoy each other in a way that doesn’t involve a quick smile in the hallway as you pass each other, each of you chasing different kids. Go to dinner, go see a movie, go to a bookstore, something.  Even if you just walk around the mall, window shop, and eat homemade peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. If you absolutely can't get out of the house for a night, switch things up at home.  Turn off the television and play a board game, or cards, put on some music and dance, anything.  Just change things up and connect with your spouse.

Mia and I don't generally enjoy the mall, she doesn’t like sitting in a darkened movie theater, and we have no money, so unless we have a gift card to a restaurant we tend to go to museums or browse bookstores or the library. This is crucial time for our relationship and I am not understating things when I say that it has saved our marriage.  We both know couples who have neglected their relationship with each other in favor of focusing on their kids, and it never ends well.  This is particularly difficult with parents of a disabled child.  Among parents of children with autism, for example, the divorce rate is 90%.  Nine-zero.  These parents spend so much time trying to improve the life and well-being of their child that they lose sight of why they fell in love in the first place.

 This is why it is so important to date your spouse.  Woo them.  Rekindle the passion and fire in your hearts.  Remember why you fell in love and cherish that feeling.  It is important to your marriage. 

Thank you.